it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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