All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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