highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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