im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
