Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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