I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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