i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
