I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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