So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
