You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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