Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
