Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do vagina's smell?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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