is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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