was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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