I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
