Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
