I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
