it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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