i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You left your phone here
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