It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
