I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You pole danced in your parka.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
