I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
