is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
