I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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