I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
