Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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