Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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