She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize