Umm I'm too high to move.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
