Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
