he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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