How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
