Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He shit in the fireplace
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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