I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
