i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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