mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
