Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
