Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
try to milk me bitch
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