At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
