Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
