i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
