How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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