Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
