i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
