Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
