i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize