Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
