Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
