Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
