We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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