these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
