in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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