My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
