the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
