I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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