You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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