Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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