Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
