yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
