Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
